Sunday, November 17, 2013

5 contrasts between healthy and unhealthy romantic relationships

1. Sacrifice vs. Demand for Sacrifice - I think it is pretty natural to find ourselves demanding sacrifices from our partner over sacrifices ourselves. It is easy to love the other when things are easy or self serving but it is another thing to surrender your preference or privilege. I believe nothing strengthens a relationship more than well intentioned sacrifice.
Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." -Ephesians 5:1-2


2. Forgiveness vs. Resentment - I remember learning that forgiving is a gift to yourself. I feel like in order for a relationship to flourish it requires that we have to be willing to forgive past hurts and disappointments. Carrying around those past hurts is toxic to a relationship.
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." -Matthew 6:14

3. Security vs. Fear  - Some relationships are based on using the partner to satisfy their security. I think healthy relationships shift to trying to meet the security need of their partner. When you are secure in yourself than you are able to focus on meeting the needs of your partner and not our own.
" There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" -1 John 4:18

4. Vulnerability vs. Defensiveness - Just watch this:

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

5. Honesty vs. Deception - There is simply no substitute for good old fashioned honesty and transparency. It is hard and scary as all get out at times, but so crucial to a thriving relationship. Keeping this in darkness fosters things like additions.


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